Family dinner
by TheCatInTheShadows
Summary: tag to the Christmas Special 2011. Just small one shot.


_I just have to get rid of this because it's haunting in my dreams. But I hope you like it, even a little bit. _

**_English isn't my language so I'm terribly sorry for any mistakes what I have done._**

_ -This is set right after The Christmas special 2011; The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe.-_

* * *

When the Doctor sat down, he seemed ridiculously nervous. To Amy it seemed like he had cried a bit. She took his plate and started to put the food on it.

"Family dinner! Shame, that River isn't here right now. Not knowing if she can come. I hope so." Rory smiled, not noticing how the Doctor stiffened. "Have you seen her?" Amy asked, pretending that she hadn't noticed.

"Not after the wedding and all of that." The Doctor answered. "I still try to keep myself out of the problems, you know. Me. Problems. Low profile right now. In my timeline, it was just half year ago. Actually, I have to admit that it was, difficult to come. Carrots! I love carrots, they are so, healthy." The Doctor tried to took the plate, not looking Amy. But Amy didn't let go of the plate.

"Why?"

"Why? Why what?" The Doctor looked puzzled and Rory looked in turn his wife and then Doctor, their both hands on the plate.

"Why it's hard to come to us, to your family? Like you said, you should have guessed that my daughter told me about you being alive. Two years we have waited."

And still the Doctor didn't looked her. "Maybe more beans?" He asked hopefully and let go of the plate. Amy sighed.

"A family." Doctor whispered. "Married again, but a family, it is so different. I though it when I watched them, Madge's family. I though _my_ family."

"I noticed it before; you avoided my question about children." Amy watched the Doctor kindly. Rory sighed. He was out of the map again so he just poured more wine for everyone.

"I lost them all. Even Jenny when I though that maybe she…" The Doctor trailed off. "I always end to lose everyone."

"Do you? Really?" Rory asked, watching him carefully. "I know that you are old, but _wiser_, I don't know for sure."

"You're rude Rory." Amy muttered and hided her smile, but Rory ignored her. He wasn't sure what was going on but he was sure for one thing. "You are my son-in-law now Doctor. And I mean _now_. Family, it isn't so simple thing. I think that when someone live as long as you, the meaning of family come more important. You can try and forget you past family or families, but you can't ignore your family _now_."

The Doctor looked him and Rory startled at realizing how keenly sad Doctor was. "Madge said something like that."

"And that's why you came now?" Amy asked.

"Yes."

"Who is she anyway?" Rory was curious to know someone who actually could say something reasonable to the Doctor.

"My mother." And the Doctor took the plate with more beans on it.

"Your_ mother_?"

"Like mother to me. Like Wilf being like my father. And Craig, like a long lost brother of mine. I love these carrots!"

"Do they know that you are alive?" Rory asked, sipping his wine. Again Amy gave a gaze at her husband and again Rory ignored it.

"Yes, no, maybe. Madge knows because I just see her. Craig, I left so suddenly when I visited with him last time. He has a son, Alfie! Lovely boy."

"And that Wilf?"

"Ah. Maybe he thinks that I'm gone forever. I… that time… I left so many behind of me. And then I met you two! Isn't it fun? New face and new fresh start." But there was something, deep in Doctor's voice, what betrayed him.

"So actually you don't always lose them. You _leave them_." Rory said.

The fork cut the trip to the waiting mouth, and came down with _klik_.

"And when the time comes, do you leave us too?" Rory asked.

"Rory, please, don't."

"I want to know Amy."

The Doctor went speechless. "It's painful to watch. Watch them. Watch them _die_."

"So instead we have to watch how _you_ die."

"Rory…"

"I do understand Doctor." Rory sighed. "But now is _now_. You shouldn't think too much what is going to happen. And you and River…"

"Stop!"

They went silent.

"What it is? You know something?" Amy asked, watching with horror how the Doctor froze and closed his eyes.

"Yes. Someday she… She die. And I have already… seen that. I met her first time when she saw me a last time." His voice so low that it was barely a whisper.

"That's… terrible." Amy looked away. "So you know when she…"

"Yes. And it hurt. Hurt so much. Over and over again. And I love her so much. I watched her when she died. And I know that I can't do anything!" Now the Doctor looked at Amy. "That's why I always lose you all. That's why I leave. Now is now? Maybe to you but to me?"

"Oh doctor." Amy offered her hand and the Doctor took it, squeezing it vigorously.

"Never say anything to her Amy. Promise me. Rory. Promise!" The Doctor demanded them and they knew that they had to keep their promises.

"Of course we promise. We know how these things go; more and more spoilers." Amy smiled sadly.

"But now is now." Rory still reminded him. "And right now you are not alone. I'm sorry if I…"

"No no no, Rory, it's okay, really." The Doctor stopped him and then he finally smiled. "Actually, I… I'm happy. I'm so happy right now; that I have you two and River. And home! Now. And you are right. It hurt, but now is now. I have to learn. I still have long way to go. Thank you. Thank you both. I have family. Not family by my own children or grandchildren, not anymore, but a family with the friends. I always have friends."

"That's it." Rory raised his glass. "Merry Christmas to everyone everywhere.""

The Doctor raised his glass. "Merry Christmas!" and drank. Then he looked the glass. "What was that? Feel funny."

"Oh Doctor."


End file.
